find hope and healing after loss
Offering words of hope for women walking through grief & suffering.
Dear grieving mama…
you are not alone.
After my son, Justin, died, the world continued, but life as I knew it stopped. I had questions. . .
How would I make it on this earth when my boy was in heaven?
How was I ever going to be “okay?”
Would a smile reach my eyes again?
Was healing possible after such a loss?
Maybe you have some of the same questions. If we could spend some time over coffee, I would tell you of the Lord’s tender care in my darkest valleys. When He says that He is close to the brokenhearted, He means it. In my questioning, I didn’t know that the Lord’s presence would sustain me in my unchartered grief until He met me in my brokenness. He is still writing my story, and my “okay” looks much different than my “before.”
To my surprise, my smile reaches my eyes again, even if sorrow is intermingled. The healing? It comes in layers, grace upon grace.
I see you and most importantly, God sees you.
If you’re experiencing suffering of any kind…
Walking through life is hard no matter what you have experienced. We all experience suffering in a variety of areas. Regardless of suffering through the loss of a loved one, people, or circumstances—the same message applies. Our only lasting hope is found in Jesus Christ and His invitation says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Whether we are grieving or wearied by the trials in this life, it’s Christ Jesus who gives His refreshment and comfort to our souls.
I am often asked questions about how to walk through suffering…
I don’t claim to have all the answers, but these are the pieces of wisdom I’ve gathered in my own journey through grief and suffering.
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Yes! Soon after Justin died, I couldn’t catch my breath. My heart ached, and everything was upside down. On the day of his memorial service, I turned on a Michael Card song called “Come Lift Up Your Sorrows.” I wept as this simple phrase washed over me, “Come lift up your sorrows and offer you pain.” I realized that my offering for the time being was my brokenhearted tears. We don’t need to “dress up” our worship of God; instead, we worship Him where we are and for who He is, Lord of all.
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Since losing my son, I am learning to live with the tension of joy and sorrow because we can feel both simultaneously. Today, my “okay” is anchored in the fact that God is with me and will never leave me.
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Know that there are no perfect words that will ease her pain. (Don’t ask her what she needs because 99% of the time, she truly does not know.)
You can show up for her, listen to her, and pray for her. Think about who she is uniquely and consider what would bless her. I asked two close friends to send me scriptures of hope for days when I felt like I was losing my mind. Maybe she needs her house cleaned. Does she love plants or flowers? Take note of her birthday and the anniversary of her loved one's death. Reach out to her by phone or card on that momentous day.
Knowing that she is thought about during a time of deep anguish says so much.
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Psalm 34:18: The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
There are days when grief rolls in so heavy that it clouds our view. In those times, it helps me to remember that He is close, even if I cannot sense His presence.
Proverbs 3:5: Trust in the LORD with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.
I just wanted to know why. Why did Justin only have 20 years to live? One night, I was going round and round with the Lord with my “But why, God?” He brought Proverbs 3:5 to mind, and it was as if He said, “Missy, you are not going to understand this, but you trust in me with all of your heart.” Now, that’s my goal: living a life trusting in the Lord and surrendering to Him, especially when I do not understand His plan.
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You’re not crazy. You’re grieving. Grief did all kinds of crazy things to me; I couldn’t recall basic words, and my mind wouldn’t focus long enough to read two sentences. Once, I washed my hair with conditioner. Also, I completely lost it at the grocery store because the deli ran out of fried chicken—not my proudest moment. I was oh-so-tired, and I didn’t know if I would ever stop crying. I really wondered if I was losing my mind. I wasn’t; I was grieving. If this is you, there is much grace to be had. It does get better. You take it one minute at a time and call upon the name of the Lord. He hears you. 🤍
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It’s my first flinch to fight grief, but healing happens when I allow myself to feel the sadness when it comes. Most times, I pray, and I ask the Lord to meet in my sorrow. Psalm 32:8 says, “Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts before him; God is a refuge for us.”
It is okay to admit when we are hurting and cry the tears that demand their release. When I lament and pour out my heart to the Lord, I find my greatest comfort and peace when I take refuge in Him.
are you looking for a speaker for your next event?
One of my greatest honors in life is to share my heart, my story, and what God is teaching me at women’s retreats and conferences. If you’d like more information, I would love to connect with you.
Visit the link below to read about the various topics I speak on and inquire about my availability.
keeping my promise, Justin.
A blog where I share my heart, my story, and what God is teaching me. My hope is that it will bring you comfort and encouragement in your own experience with suffering or loss.
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